Hello, my name is Susie.

“Does anyone ever call you Susie Q?”

Nope. Nobody, ever, in my entire life. Never. Not once. 

And by that I mean, yes. Everyone, always. For my entire life. Every time. Susie Q, all day every day, as the nickname-of-choice from every person I’ve ever met – and they always phrase it exactly like that, “Does anyone ever call you…” as if they legitimately think they might be the first one to ever come up with it. 

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate people associating me with Creedence Clearwater Revival and fun 50s characters from Disney channel movies. It could be worse. I could be a celebrity baby and have to forever answer to something like North West or Apple. Or I could be like Matthew McConnaughey’s nephew and be named “Miller Lyte” after his dad’s favorite beer. All things considered, “Susie Q” isn’t…