A couple of recent incidents have been making me wonder if the people of Brazil need to better secure their cutlery. First, there was that crab pretending he was in West Side Story – oh wait, two crabs. And now there’s a capuchin monkey in a Paraiba bar with a penchant for rum and butcher knives.

True, the monkey seems more Curious George than King Kong, but I’m not sure I trust him to keep a steady grip on that thing. Can somebody give him a melon baller or a muddler instead?