Ah Brazil. The Siberia of South America, except instead of jumping off  buildings into 30 foot tall snow banks, they parachute off their balconies in sandals to go grab some groceries like they just snapped the first picture of Mr. Deeds. Just an incredibly dramatic video from the start. The life or death instructions he’s giving his squad. The wife audibly trembling with her new born baby, waiting in agony to see the quite possible and gruesome death of her husband. Just so many emotions running around, all because this dude saw Point Break a couple days ago and drunkenly ordered a parachute off of eBay.

Listen, I love the internet. I love buying things off the internet.  It’s convenient as fuck. What everyone knows is that when you purchase something online, there is always a possibility that what you are paying for is not what you receive. Just the…